Dating and Marriage in Judaism

And here comes the juicy stuff.  Dating in Judaism, marriage in Judaism… These relationships work differently for Orthodox Jews than in other societies, and if you think we’re insulated in general, you better bet that much of this information is kept with the utmost privacy.  After all, the inner-workings of a marriage are about as private and sacred as it gets.

Shomer Negiah

Did you know that men and women aren’t supposed to touch each other at all in Orthodox Judaism unless they’re married?  They’re not even supposed to shake hands or hug.  This is called being shomer negiah (which translates to “guarding touch”).   You can obviously hug your siblings, parents, and children, but aside from your immediate family and spouse, relationships between those of the opposite sex, whether in the workplace, socially, or otherwise, do not include any touching, not even a handshake.  That also means that the first time a husband and wife are supposed to have any physical contact is at their wedding.  Read more…

Dating in Judaism

I have to start off the “How Dating Works for Orthodox Jews” section with a disclaimer, because this is not at all how finding love worked for me.  I happened to meet my husband on a volunteer program before college when I was 18 years old, and I married him immediately upon graduating from college, 4 and a half years after that.  Most Orthodox Jews, however, meet their spouses through a matchmaker or “shadchan” who sets them up.  Read more…

Marriage in Judaism

We’ve already talked about Jewish weddings.  They’re a whole lot of fun, but the true incredible beauty lies far after the dancing is over.  Marriage in Judaism is shaped by the extensive Jewish laws surrounding it, which address the most intimate details of life.  In my opinion, it is incredibly rich in value and perspective on what creates a happy, healthy, loving marriage.  Read more…